I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my maternity leave, I mean who wouldn’t enjoy lazing about all day, going for lunches with my friends and cuddling my baby, yeah right- this I believe is my husbands version of mat leave!! Don’t get me wrong some days it does look like that and other days I’m covered in a mixture of shit, puke and food and by the end of it crying in the corner feeling sorry for myself, wondering what the fuck I’m doing. I’m already 7 months in and it’s a million times harder than I ever imagined but also more rewarding than anything I’ve ever done. I never thought I’d be the kind of girl shedding a tear because my baby made a different kind of ‘ahhh’ sound, or rolled over, or ate food. Get a grip.
I’ve said a few times that it’s probably harder than my day job, (which isn’t exactly easy) so combining the two is mind blowing (not in a good way!) I recently had to go into work for a day and faced the nightmare that every working mum goes through of getting yourself and baby ready, dropping them off at childcare, all before you even start the horrific commute, and then all over again after an entire day at work and a commute home. And what a shitty day it was- not the actual work part, I’m lucky enough to love my job, but the before and after bit; I’m pretty organised but this is another level!!
It’s like a military operation getting out of the door most days but now throw in the added pressure of having to get a train or deal with traffic. And usually it’s OK if you walk out the door with a bit of porridge in your hair, snot on your jeans and dummy’s clipped to your tshirt- but none of this is acceptable if you’re going into work; you need to be presentable and appear to have your shit together! And then you’re required to switch your brain from baby to work as soon as you get into the office; when you haven’t used it for months that is a pretty hard task, for the first hour I struggled to put sentences together, or think of grown up/smart sounding words.
And then on top of all of this you have the guilt, god the guilt of not spending time with Beau was just so shitty. It was just too much, I think I must have cried for a good hour by time I actually made it home, with Mr H looking at me like I had literally lost the plot, before of course stepping into supportive husband mode.
So after taking a few days to recover from the shocker of work and a mini breakdown dealing with the realisation that I will eventually be returning to work, I needed a plan. I may not be able to control things like the trains and traffic and I’m not willing to compromise on walking into work looking like a bag of shit, I needed to think about small adjustments that would make life less stressful and lighten the mood. But also to acknowledge that ladies do this shit EVERY SINGLE DAY and to get the fuck over it and man up….. I turned to make up.
Like most women I LOVE make up, not just the product but the entire process….reading reviews and any top 10 list I can find, then spending a good hour in Boots trying a million and one shades to the point that I’ve run out of room on my hand so I’m rubbing lipstick up my arm, opening the spanking new box…..and then the actual application, I just bloody love it. So you could imagine the shock, horror, trauma and fucking nightmare I faced once I had a baby. Friends had warned me I would no longer have time to spend on make up and of course they were right, I don’t think I showered for the first month let alone put any make up on. However I’m not willing to let this one go without a fight, I don’t believe this is an area that should suffer because I have a baby!
So these are the products that I’ve decided will allow me to create the illusion that I am absolutely nailing this whole working mum thing…
- MAC strobe cream: gives a gorgeous fresh and dewy glow even after minimal sleep
- Charlotte Tilbury Mini Miracle Eye Wand: Double whammy with one end containing a brightening eye cream, other end is a light reflecting concealer- bingo.
- No7 Youthful CC Cream: Gives great coverage for a CC cream and a really nice even skin-tone- although foundation seem to just slide off my face so I’ll probably need something a bit more hardcore to last the day, No7 Stay Perfect is a good one for staying put.
- Maybelline Master Contour Stick: Another 2 in 1 special…One stick made up of a brown tone on one side and highlighter on the other. The fastest way to contour!!
- Maybelline Colossal Go Extreme Mascara in Leather Black: Black, thick, long- can’t ask for any more.
- MAC Blusher: This is very similar to NARS Orgasm but less of a gold tone. Adds a nice pink hue with good mix of golden highlighter. A cheaper alternative to this is the Sleek blush in Rose Gold (such a bargain)
- Clarins Instant Light Natural Lip Perfector: Really compliments your natural lip colour, not too sticky and feels hydrating on the lips…MWAH.
This probably sounds like a lot of products for something that I’m saying is a quick turnaround but it’s honestly really quick- well it is for me compared to how long I would actually like to spend on it! But maybe you’re not someone that needs all of this, or maybe you just don’t mind looking like a character from fraggle rock. Either way, if all else fails just grab a tube of Eight Hour Cream and be on your way.
Feel free to share your own ‘I look like I’m owning this but really it’s a shit-show’ tips!